I’m a serious prep-er. For reals. I like to glean all the information I can before I even think about embarking on some glorious venture. The problem with that life technique: I think I am some glorious ventures short. While preparation establishes the foundation for expansion, a preoccupation for the former can also stagnate the latter. To often I tell myself that I am not ready. In some cases: duh. Totally not ready for that business. Example: dog owning. Not nearly responsible enough, and have an odd aversion to picking up poop via a plastic bag – gross. But in other cases, I allow my lack of experience to excuse me from taking a risk. At some point we have to believe that we know what to do. We have to let go and trust that we’ve got this. Cause chances are – it might not be pretty – but we do.
I’ve spent the last month or so playing around with the sequencing of my clean and my snatch. Wait on the toes. Bar at the shoelaces. Gaze up. Shoulders and hips rise together. Bar pulls back along the thighs. Hips drive forward. Body pulls under. Bar lands exactly where it is supposed to be. Ummm. So you cannot think of all of those things mid lift and expect to affectively get something solid and heavy off of the ground in a spectacularly efficient and powerful manner. It’s paralyzing to think of that many things at one time in the span of 1-2 seconds. I mean, as humans, we have figured out how to make fire and all that – as a species we are pretty baller – but multitasking: still not really our thing. And yet control is very much our thing. And controlling multiple things at a time – on top of the world! But we can’t expect to perform at the top of our capacity while thinking about a million things at a time. We achieve something truly brilliant when we let go, when it becomes intuitive and well, ballsy.
Last week was all about starting. And in a way this week is too. But where last week was more about blind faith, about just diving in with the faith that all the pieces will fall in some unexpectedly marvelous manner, this week is about trust – and sure, a little bit of blind faith too. Sometimes we need to trust that we know what to do. I need to trust that when I begin to pull that bar off of the ground, my body’s like, “oh I got this.” Even if it isn’t perfect – big deal. Each time we give into that trust, we create space for intuition. We create space for a movement or a reaction to become natural instead of rehearsed.
As a coach I am all about details. I want my students to understand the mechanics of every movement and to grasp the niceties of every mental battle. Obviously I’m a little biased on this point, but I’m totally down with that type of coaching, except that it sometimes freezes up my students (and myself as an athlete.) Yes, of course you need to understand the mechanics of something in order to keep yourself safe and to gain lots of cool stuff from said movement, but sometimes, you have to say, “f*ck it,” and just move. Don’t think. Just move. Don’t stress about going 100%, about giving all that you can give at every moment, or worrying if you’re getting all that you should out of your workout. Instead, relish in the opportunity you have given yourself by showing up in the first place. Enjoy it. And trust yourself. You know what to do. Let it happen.
Thank you to Dawnelle for imparting this message to me over the last few weeks in yoga clinic and in life. Oh, and for making handstands way less awful…